Gabby G'abby

me: alright

Gabby: hai
you have been deflowered

me: i have
this is in fact my first gchat ever
and it feels great
i'm enjoying this
and more recently i've had the pleasure of enjoying your latest short story pretty flowers

Gabby: thank you

me: which dropped on valentines day
why don't you tell me some things about that short story
This chat is no longer off the record
Sent at 6:47 PM on Wednesday
me: send that again
i accidentally took us off the record or something

Gabby: send what again?
i didn't say anything yet



me: oh
this is getting crazy
nm
continue when you're ready

Gabby: haha okay
well i have pretty high anxiety levels

me: really

Gabby: like everything makes me nervous and uncomfortable
yeah
and around holidays that gets a lot worse
Gabby: it's like i always have these expectations about how these dates are supposed to go
Gabby: and valentines day, although i have always been single for every single valentines day, still feels to me like i should have some kind of romantic interest
and so i wanted to write something for valentines day that kind of played off of my hopeful expectations for things even though the reality is almost always shitty

for me at least

Gabby: i wanted it to evoke this wide-eyed or naive point of view but also self-aware. if that makes sense
Gabby: like once i was really high with a few of my friends and we were sitting on these tree stumps in the woods
and it was freezing
and i didn't have a jacket
Gabby: and my friend turns to me and goes 'how would you sum up your world view?'
or something to that effect
and i was really cold but glad to just be outside with my friends
and i said 'punctured optimism'
Gabby: and that sounds completely ridiculous and like i laugh at myself for saying that

me: no i don't think so at all

ambitious yea
but why not
so is that what you would say the goal was of this piece

Gabby: i don't know if i had a distinct goal for this piece

it just felt like something i needed to say
Gabby: i guess i just hesitate to use the word goal
i think the piece manifested from those feelings
Gabby: i think i'm a little too obsessed with being a 'good person' so this cognitive dissonance always develops when i think of the person that i want to be and the person that i am
and i tried to address that in the piece as well

me: i would say you did

it's very you
i mean when i think of the black dot series
it makes sense

Gabby: well, i knew i wanted to write something

me: what influenced the black dot series

Sent at 7:14 PM on Wednesday

Gabby: well i like things that are visually appealing

if something doesn't look good i will probably think less of it
Gabby: i think a simple black dot is minimalist and visually appealing
and i wanted the short poems to be equally as striking at first glance but work on different levels
the black dot series also dealt with that kind of anxiety of being alone and the connection to social media
some of the poems were text messages
some of the poems addressed social media directly
a lot of the poems were about being alone irl
via a really bad breakup

me: awww

Gabby: yeah
it's okay
my ex has a girlfriend that seems nice and i don't want to interfere with that
and we're friends now
we're meeting up tomorrow actually

me: cool
so what are you reading right now
and would you say that a lot of what you read is to inspire what you write
Sent at 7:20 PM on Wednesday

Gabby: umm i'm actually not reading anything right now
i'm in college so i'm swamped with a lot of mandatory reading
i just read an article about mao's agricultural policies in communist china
i was inspired by that actually
i wrote a short story about communist china and shower sex

me: wow
i want to read that

Gabby: haha sure
i can email it to you

me: please do

Gabby: i read a pamphlet called 'suicide thoughts'
i got it from the health center
pretty inspiring
i get inspired by weird things

me: tell me about them

Gabby: not necessarily other writers
Gabby: yeah, i'm inspired by a lot of social theory
Gabby: and feminist writers

me: what out of those two predominantly

Gabby: i don't think feminism and social theory are mutually exclusive
they intersect a lot
Sent at 7:27 PM on Wednesday
Gabby: and i definitely think i'm probably in the vein of writers that have delineated from tao lin.
i like his simple and stilted prose
and how it's sincere and ironic at the same time
Gabby: i'm trying to differentiate myself from that though

me: i see that

Sent at 7:30 PM on Wednesday

Gabby: idk. i just write stuff.
i try to make it not suck

me: in one sentence
what do you write about
Sent at 7:31 PM on Wednesday

Gabby: i sit in my bed and write about the things that i used to do or want to do or wish i could do.

me: thank you gabby

Gabby: no problem
thank you